Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
Despite his efforts, Blorbo saw no visible progress. He was still only leaning at an a meager 2 degree angle, and the lack of a progress bar or anything that could indicate progress was starting to gnaw at him like a termite.
They had already moved to the center of the town, the more populated area of Nokia. Nokia was as disordered as a town with heavy patronage could be, with poorly planned expansions, cluttered alleys, and haphazardly placed buildings. Soldiers patrolled in groups of three or four, their armor polished but their movements were so, so slow, as if they had been stationed here for so long they’d forgotten what real danger looked like. Some leaned against the walls, chatting idly, while others stood at food stalls, casually flipping through coin purses. Their coin purses and other people’s coin purses.
To the left of the wagon, a group of kids kicked a ball between them—until a knight absently wandered through their game, sending the ball bouncing off into a sewer drain. He didn’t even acknowledge it.
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
“Bah,” Anders muttered, eyes scanning the troops as they rode past a group of knights playing dice in an alleyway. “I thought these men were meant to be in Caerfort, holding the northern lines. Not wasting time in a town that hasn’t seen a single orc in a decade.”
Lena blinked. “Wait, Caerfort? I remember that in the books! Isn’t that near where the border defenses are?”
“Which book did you read?” Anders asked.
“Orcish Traditions & Wildly Unverified Myths, third edition. Rob said the map in there is realistic.”
Rob whispered, “That’s the opposite of what I said…”
“It is not near the border, but it’s the nearest kingdom capital. Yet, those blasted knights let the mages do all the heavy lifting for them!” Anders threw his hands in the air. “You know who’s guarding the borders? Mages! Mercenaries. Local levies. Peasant militias with rusted weapons. Even Rogues! But not this bum!” He pointed at Ducaz. “Whole thing’s a joke!”
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
Lena frowned, glancing at the knights again as her fingers ran through the lines of fur of the cat who was lying atop her thighs. “I thought the war was between orcs and mages, though? Or is it bigger than that?”
“‘The Mages and Orcs Have a Blood Feud, and We Must Stay Out of It,’” Anders said in a mockingly pompous voice. “And yet, last I checked, it’s human towns getting raided, not the Archmage’s fancy tower. You think an orc cares whether some village is full of mages or not? If they’re hungry, they’re hungry.”
Lena’s brows knitted. “So… then why isn’t the Kingdom stepping in properly?”
Anders shot a glance at the lazing knights, then scoffed. “Because the Knights work for the King, and the King kisses the nobles’ buttocks. Nobles don’t care unless it’s their castles under attack. The borderland villages? The mercenaries and sellswords dying to hold the line? That’s someone else’s problem. The Knights’ reputation got so bad the EMRCAR would rather call up the Paladin’s Temple of Light Association before Caerfort! And the King of Caerfort…” He shook his head. “It’s King Edgar VI. He’s as useless as all the other Edgars!”
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
[SKILL LEVEL UP! Adjustable Angle (Level 2)]
Wait. I did it! Something actually works the way it’s supposed to!
Blorbo frantically pulled up the skill description as an unfamiliar rush of excitement coursed through his grain.
[Adjustable Angle (Level 2)]
Allows the user to adjust their tilt at will. Maximum angle: 6 degrees.
Oh. Oh-ho-ho.
He had transcended.
No longer would he be merely a slightly slanted table. No, he was now a moderately slanted table.
Let’s see how much more I can lean.
Blorbo activated Adjustable Angle.
He leaned to the maximum level.
Immediately, somebody took notice.
“That table looks a bit leany,” Ducaz said. “Let me stabilize it.” Then he sat on top of Blorbo.
Ducaz’s status table showed up.
[QUEST COMPLETED: The Rogue’s Ledger]
Objective: Use Appraisal to reveal Ducaz’s full status screen.
Reward: +300% Appraisal EXP accumulation for the next 24 hours.
Blorbo’s vision blinked once. Twice. Three times.
AGI 341?! Three digits? And I was proud my AGI was 14! Having him work for 287 shillings is a BARGAIN! And this guy looks the same build as Lena, and I can barely feel his weight! If he’s a human, Lena must be an elephant!
Bah. I’ll care about that later. Right now, I celebrate. TWO skills leveling up in one day? Maybe the system has just changed its operating system and is no longer a buttock.
Wait. Where’s my Level 2 Appraisal?
Blorbo read the Reward again.
+300% Appraisal EXP accumulation for the next 24 hours.
NEXT 24 hours? I have to find somebody ELSE to sit on me?
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Daniel Newwyn
