“Wow, you were so right, Drim. This place really is like going back in time,” Kada bubbled as the pair stood in the lobby of an information center. The elderly gentleman at the counter seemed to be doing his best to stay composed during this outburst.
The Fiends were currently in Virabeld, a self-governing village with a population of just a few thousand. Virabeld was just about as old-fashioned as it got; no electricity, no technology, everything was done through hard work and tradition. Due to a lack of proper mapping, there was no bank listed in their app for Virabeld. This was fairly uncommon, but they had run into it already on their trip. Most places in this instance had an alternative, normally in the form of some government office.
This was the reason for the group’s trip to the information center, to hopefully gleam where they should be committing their villainous acts. The center was for visiting tourists, though—people intrigued by the simpler lifestyle. “I apologize, but we just don’t have the kind of place you folks are talking about,” the old man informed them.
“There has to be something,” Drim persisted. “How is your money regulated? I know you use it, so could you at least tell us where it’s made.”
“Ah, about that…” the old man drawled. “You see, some of those young folks use money, but it’s not too regular. Most of us still use bartering. A few youngins tried to get us to change, but people around here are proudly stubborn. Since it’s not used much, we never really set up an official-like way of making it. So, they get one of the girls who’s artsy to make it for ‘em.”
The group’s leader let out a particularly large sigh, putting his fingers to his forehead and pondering on what to do next. “This place is mawhging weird,” Phon announced as she and Xard walked into the center to join in on the fun.
“I mean, that’s pretty obvious, but it’s so retro. I love it!” Kada cheered.
“No, Phon’s right,” Xard agreed. “There’s not a single adult woman around, only elderly and children.”
“Ahh, about that,” the old man intervened. “I’ve heard it’s different in other places, but here it’s women that do the fighting. You see… We got something of a civil war going on right now, but please don’t let it bother your stay. Those young ladies know the law. They’re fighting over in the Disputing Grounds. It’s pretty far away, so it shouldn’t bother you nothing.”
◆◆◆
Kada stayed behind to try and get more information from the old man. Drim seemed to have gotten fed up with talking to him, so the others went to scout out the ‘civil war’ since it peaked their intrigue. The Disputing Grounds was a large open field in a clearing surrounded by forest. It was lined with trenches, filled to the brim with young and middle-aged women on opposite sides of the field. Clearly, it was meant to be a battlefield, a small one, but still not a place to fool around. Yet somehow, it gave off the impression it was more a place for recreational activities.
Most of the women were in the trenches, firing slow muskets at each other. A few were in the middle, fighting each other with melee weapons. They looked like they would make easy targets for those with guns, but it appeared the shooters were only firing at other shooters. From a quick glance around, it appeared that there were no casualties. There were several severe injuries, but whatever this civil war was about, they were hesitant to kill over it.
It was easy to tell the groups of women apart. On one side, they were wearing traditional-inspired uniforms worn all over the world around a century ago. On the other, the women were dressed in modern casual clothes, but they looked ragged, as if they were hand-me-downs or bought at a thrift store. These women also had various cords wrapped around their limbs with some wearing them on their heads. They were electrical cords, used for charging phones and the like, and others that would be found on traditional electronics.
“That’s a lot of pretty women,” Kada spouted when she arrived. “And they’re all... so aggressive… maybe we should stay here a while.”
“Keep your pants on, drippy,” Xard chastised her. “What’d you find out?”
“Okay, so it took a while. Man, that guy was a slow talker, but I think I’ve got the gist of it,” Kada explained. “They’re divided into the ‘Relics’ and the ‘Spoiled’. Apparently, they were names initially used to insult the other groups, but they eventually embraced them as their own. They’re fighting over technology, as in, whether they should start using it or not.
“So, when the Drazah war happened, this country was taken over as well. The Drazahs took half of the women and forced them to join their army. Those are all the members of the Spoiled, along with a few younger women who want to partake as well. While they were deployed, they got too used to modern conveniences, so they found it hard to adjust when they got back. Upon their return, anything electronic they brought with them was confiscated. Apparently, they all tried to conform back to the simple life, but tensions have been rising for years and it’s led to the situation we see.
“From what I understand, this civil-war has been going on for almost a year now without any clear victor. They are all pretty kind about it, and only fight at scheduled times. When the fighting is on pause, they go back to their regular lives. We just happened to show up during one of their skirmishes. Seems it will go on for a few more days.”
“A ‘civil’ civil war, huh,” Xard muttered to himself, “But if that truly was the case, no one would have to get hurt…”
“Oi, wake up,” Drim thudded a fist against his own chest. “Look, another lovely situation you’re responsible for. Don’t suppose you know an easy way to get them to stop fighting?”
A yawning sound suddenly came from the boy’s body, even though his mouth was closed. “Oh, are those Ragos? We must be in Virabeld then.” Somehow Eleen was speaking, but Drim still appeared to be in full control. It also sounded only like her, without her son’s voice intertwined.
“What’s going on? How are you talking right now?” the body owner questioned her, clearly annoyed.
“Something new I thought I’d try,” his mother answered. “I’m only using your vocal chords. I figured you’d find it more preferable than me taking over your whole body.”
“How are you able to articulate properly without a mouth and tongue, though?” Kada inquired. “It should just sound like a bunch of muffled hums.”
“How are you able to bend the laws of physics to your will and change states of matter on a whim?” Eleen countered rhetorically.
“You know what… That’s fair,” The Mermaid dropped it.
“I never understood how these people in Virabeld got on with their lives,” the possessing spirit started to ramble. “Without electricity, I would have gone mad. One of mommy’s guilty pleasures was to reheat leftovers made by our cook in the dead of night, after long hours dictatoring. Do you know how hard that would be without a microwave?! Ah… I miss eating.”
A fierce scowl stretched over Drim’s face and his whole body started violently shaking in rage. Eleen seemed to be able to sense this and got back on topic. “So the Ragos then, well that’s what we called them anyways. A bunch of stubborn and serious girls, not exactly fun to be around. They were fine soldiers, though, and easy to manipulate. Throw a few luxuries at them and their morale would skyrocket. You don’t want to be the enemy of a girl who just discovered moisturizer for the first time and was promised a crate of it if they won.”
The Slayer stared at the battlefield for a while, and the others let him think in silence. Finally, he announced, “I believe we should leave them be. They aren’t killing each other, so it’s probably for the best we let them work this issue out on their own. We’re not trying to conform everyone to our ideals after all. Obviously, it would be better for us in the long-run if they embraced technology, and we may have to take action in the future, but at present, this could take too much time. For now, though, their system of bartering shouldn’t hinder our current plans. If they decide to switch to technology down the line, introducing them to the new system should be easy enough.”
“Wait, couldn’t you just order them to stop fighting with your command thingy?” Kada wondered.
“Drazah Demand,” Xard interjected. “That’s what the people on the internet have started calling it. There’s even a catch phrase: ‘You can never ignore a demand from a Drazah.’
“Great, another alliteration and another person I need to hold responsible for making it,” Phon grumbled.
“Bad name aside, please don’t make me do that. I truly hate that power,” Drim pleaded.
My power, you mean, the young man heard in his heart but elected to ignore it.
After hearing Drim’s decision, everyone was getting ready to leave, but Xard paused. “You guys go on ahead without me. I’m going to stay here,” he declared. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t leave this be. Both sides want what they believe is best for their village, but so many are getting hurt in the process. I can’t just move on knowing I could do something to prevent that. I’ll stop this civil war, then I’ll catch up with you guys after.”
Phon pulled out her phone, and scrolled through it. “It looks like we’ll be passing near this area again in two days. If you can solve it by then and rejoin us, there’d be no issues. Any longer and it may be much harder to catch up. I don’t really care about you doing this, but since it’s not a job, you’ll have to be reprimanded in some way for abandoning your current one. That all fine with you Drim?”
“Yeah, works for me,” the leader agreed. “I think it’s a fine decision Xard, and I respect it. Honestly, you’re probably the only one of us who could have successful diplomacy with them. Kada and I would be weak to their… err… charms. Phon would be fine, but I’m sure you can imagine how well she’d handle peace talks.”
“Hey!” both girls protested against their criticisms.
“I think I already know how I’ll stop them,” Xard proclaimed. “It will honestly be better if none of you are here to see... I suspect it will be rather embarrassing. If it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to borrow some of the supplies from The Tourist.”
◆◆◆
Throughout the Disputing Grounds, battles raged on. Gunwomen were firing endlessly at each other, and there were fierce duels happening in the center. Blood was being shed, screams and cries rang out, but it all came to a halt when someone walked onto the field. Xard casually strolled right down the middle, a large duffle bag in tow. Musket balls whizzed by him, but he carried on, unflinching. By the time he reached the center, everyone had stopped fighting, all staring at the man stupid enough to infiltrate their war.
Alright Xard, embrace your inner crazy. Just think, what would Kada do?! When The Artillery reached his chosen spot, he pulled a folding chair out of the duffle bag, propped it up, and plopped down into it. Then he pulled a canned soda out of his bag and popped the top. “Don’t mind me,” the intruder yelled to the women and then took a sip from his drink. “Carry on.”
One of the women, a Relic, marched over to him, pointing her sword at his neck. “What do you think you’re doing?!” she demanded.
“Spectating!” Xard flashed a smile, then took another sip.
“This is no place for fools!” the woman chastised him. “You are interrupting our dignified battle. This must be a trick of the Spoiled! You’re working for them, aren’t you?!
“Haha, nothing of the sort,” the young man denied it. Confused glances from the Spoiled side seemed to confirm his claim. “As I said, please don’t mind me. I’m really just a spectator.”
“You will be dead if you don’t move soon!” The woman was rapidly losing patience. “Clearly you are mentally ill, and I do not wish to harm you. However, if you continue to persist, I will be forced to use violence. Move now, or we will move you.”
Xard leaned forward a bit in his chair, looked the woman straight in the eyes and smirked. “You can try!”
This was the end of the woman’s tolerance. She swung her sword at Xard’s soda. It looked like she was going to try and slice it out of his hand, as an attempt to scare him. Xard was starting to appreciate all his training. His reflexes were now in top form. He moved his free hand in the path of the sword, and raised a single finger. The sword completely stopped on contact, appearing as if he had stopped it with the strength of just that finger alone. The energy from the slice ran down his finger into his body, and then he dispersed it through his shoulder pads, leaving the observers none the wiser.
The woman drew back and stared at him with wide eyes. “What is this?! It must be a trick! Shoot him!'' She commanded her allies. A hail of muskets came flying at the Fiend, but the moment they touched him, they all dropped to the ground with half-hearted thumps.
“Seriously, ladies, you’re going to make me spill my drink if you’re not careful,” Xard made a light-hearted complaint, completely relaxed despite being attacked. “It’s fine if you do, I suppose. I brought plenty more—enough to share, actually, if anyone wants one.” No one took him up on his offer as they all continued to stare at him silently. The intruder then sighed, “Seriously, how many times do I have to say this. Please get back to your war. I’m guessing you all don’t get much information out here, but I’ll fill you in. I’m what’s known as a Fiend. You don’t have to worry about hurting me. I won’t interfere in the fighting in any way, and I won’t take sides.”
Xard just sat there patiently, and it took a while, but the women eventually resumed fighting, albeit hesitantly. All part of the plan, the young man smirked again. He let their war go on for a few minutes, then pulled out his phone. “You guys don’t mind if I take pictures do you?” The Artillery asked no one in particular and never got an answer. He began taking shots of both sides and then fiddled around on his phone with a grin.
“Hey bro, which one of these girls is your type?” the rude voyeur dictated a message loud enough for everyone to hear. There was no actual recipient to this message, but a few seconds later, he acted as if he got a reply. “Oh boy, my friend’s got it bad for one of you. Now he’s messaging me nonstop about how cute you are. I’m sure you all wanna know who I’m talking about, but I won’t tellll!” Xard regurgitated a combination of many of the annoying conversations he’d overheard in high school.
This ploy got the attention he was looking for, a few of the girls were now even more hesitant in their fighting. One even took out a pocket mirror to see how they looked. However, there was a cry from across the field. A distracted woman took a shot to the shoulder, but rather than inciting more violence, the one who had taken the shot started crying out apologies.
“You know what this scene needs, some music!” the unwanted man on the battlefield decreed. He held up his phone and a bit of dramatic music started playing. The action in front of him ended up being timed surprisingly well with the tune, making it feel like he was watching an epic fight scene in a movie. When that song ended, a loud and chipper pop-song came next. Rather than changing it to something more appropriate, Xard cranked the volume, held his phone above his head, and started swaying it around.
More of the fighting either slowed or stopped, as confused and bewildered eyes gazed at the oddity that the warriors couldn’t comprehend. Eventually, the same woman who had argued with him earlier, likely the leader of the Relics, came storming back over to him. “Leave. Now! You are making a mockery of this solemn battle.”
“Oh, so hostile,” Xard said sarcastically as he leaned forward. “No need to be so harsh. We can talk like adults. Let’s start from the beginning. I’m Xard, and you are?”
“I am the one who is about to drag your corpse from this battlefield,” the woman fumed. “But you can call me Dette.”
“Alright then, Dette. You see, I’ve come to like this scenery, and we Fiends are pretty stubborn. So no, I won’t be moving,” The Artillery made his stance clear.
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“So there is nothing I can say that will get you to leave?” Dette pried.
“I’m afraid not,” Xard sounded almost sympathetic. “Could you not simply resume this scuffle elsewhere?”
“That is against our laws. All disputes must be solved here,” the Relic commander answered.
“Then I am afraid we are at an impasse,” Xard stated firmly. “If there is anything else I can help you with, please don't hesitate to ask. Oh, but I won’t join your side, nor will I assist your enemies. I’m completely impartial here.”
“Hmph, as if we’d ask for your help,” Dette ridiculed him. “What could a weak man like you do anyways?” Without looking away from her, Xard swiped his fingers through the air in the direction of the forest. A second later, the four closest trees were all cut near their base and toppled over, crashing into the ground. The woman turned around in a huff and ordered, “Relics, we’re falling back early today. There is no way we can have an honorable fight with this man around.”
The intruder stayed put in his chair as all of the soldiers packed it in for the day, heading to the camps that were set up on either side of the grounds. He was quite satisfied with himself since he was able to get them to stop fighting, but it was only temporary. Now he would start applying the real pressure.
About forty minutes after the battlefield had initially been cleared, both camps finally seemed to have settled. They were working on preparing meals for their troops, and to Xard, it honestly looked tiring. Really, they put that much work into making food every day? No wonder the Spoiled are fighting so hard for change. Well, I guess I should make some food for myself, now that I have an audience.
Both sides had sent troops to spy on him. They were hiding in the trenches on their respectives sides. You girls need to get better at stealth, I can literally see the tops of all of your heads. Xard pulled out a portable camping stove. It was a single burner, powered by gas. He set a pot on the burner after igniting it, and dumped in a few bottles of water to get it boiling.
“No way, he conjured fire from thin air like it was nothing, does he possess magic?” the young man heard mumblings coming from the Relic trenches. A different voice then whispered, “He expects to boil water from flames so small? Impossible… or is it…” Xard was beginning to feel a bit self conscious from being observed like this, almost as if he was an exhibit in a museum. Earlier, he had been able to push aside the anxiety, because he was playing a part.
No, I just need to get back into that mindset. I am a performer right now, and my act will change these women’s lives. Alright, time for embellishment and charm. From his bag, The Artillery pulled out a bowl of instant noodles. They weren’t exactly great tasting and could barely be considered proper sustenance. However, they were the pinnacle of convenience and easy life, the perfect item to show off.
Wanting to be as entertaining as possible, Xard grabbed the noodles in one hand, and ripped the lid back with his teeth. With his free hand, he grabbed the flavor packet from the top of the petrified noodles and flung it into the air. He slashed a blade of energy after it using his finger, slicing the bag in half by the seam. The two sides of the packet split apart from each other and fluttered away gracefully. Meanwhile, the powder that had been suspended in the air for a moment, began to rain. Xard positioned the bowl underneath, and caught every grain.
He didn’t stop there, however. The moment the last speck of flavoring hit the bowl, the boy twirled around. In his spin, he grabbed the pot of water off of the burner, and copied a move he had seen Mallea perform several times. Starting with the pot and bowl mere inches apart, he gracefully lifted the pot up as water poured down. Finishing his twirl, he placed the pot back on the burner, set the noodles down gently, and landed back in his chair, all in a single motion.
Maybe if this Fiend thing doesn’t work out, I should try being a performer. The young man was amazed at what he had just done, and impressed with how good he was getting at handling his Curse. “In two minutes, I’ll have a delicious meal.” Xard said this openly, addressing no one, but knew he was being heard. There was even more mumbling from the relic side now, disputing that food could possibly be prepared that fast. Eyes had also started openly poking out from the trenches.
“So, it really is that… instant noodles…” the young man could hear a pained cry come from the Spoiled side now. “Get ahold of yourself,” he heard someone else scold the first. “They weren’t even that good… they just were so… convenient… Damn it, now I want some!” Xard had to hold back a fit of laughter. His scheme was going even better than he expected.
Soon, the two minutes were up, and the so-called chef lifted the lid. An aroma filled the air. While instant noodles weren’t the best food, the smell could easily draw someone in and make their stomach growl. It seemed to do just that, and he heard rumblings resonating in the trenches.
Once it was suitably cooled, Xard pulled out a fork, wrapped up a few noodles, and pressed them to his lips. He could simply eat normally, but no, he was going to ham it up as much as possible. With a loud slurp, the boy sucked the noodles feverishly into his mouth. Liquid went flying everywhere as the noodles were inhaled. He then chewed for a moment, and let out moans as if it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. This continued for the entire meal, until the last noodle was gone, and every single drop of leftover broth had been gulped.
Xard let out a long, heavy, relaxed sigh as he finished eating. Normally, a bowl of noodles wasn’t quite enough for him, but all this extra exertion and flamboyancy had filled him completely. He couldn’t stop now, though. It was time for dessert. The moment he pulled a packet from his bag there were audible gasps from the Spoiled side. “No way… it can’t be!” he heard disbelief ring out. “I recognize that brand… It just had to be that…! Hot chocolate!”
The Spoiled women weren’t even trying to be quiet now as they endlessly chattered over this ordeal. It seemed there were quite a few sweet toothes among them. There was just as much chattering from the Relics, but that was more focused on confusion as to what was working up the Spoiled so much. “I want it so bad!” one of the women whimpered. “He wouldn’t mind if we took it, would he?!”
“No, no matter how much you want it, we can’t steal someone else’s food.” What had started as a casual argument, rapidly grew into a full on dispute as the women started shaking and tackling each other, trying to pin down those who’d attempt to take it.
“Ladies, would you care to join me?” The women poked their heads up from the trench, having not seen what he’d done while they were fighting. There were six disposable cups laid at his feet, one for each in the trench. They all immediately scrambled over, thanked Xard, and began sipping on their treats ecstatically. The glares from the Relics intensified, most likely judging them for their weakness, so the Spoiled all walked away a few paces and huddled together as they drank.
“Of course, I wouldn’t leave out you lovely ladies either.” Four more cups now rested on Xard’s other side, having been placed there without notice once more. The Relics did nothing for a while, but their resolve seemed to be waining after watching the enjoyment on the Spoiled’s faces. “I’m afraid I must ask you to make up your mind’s quickly. It would be an utter travesty if it were to go cold. I’m afraid I would have to relinquish your cups over to the other women, assuming they are still interested of course.”
The Spoiled began eyeing the new cups as they were finishing their own. And the moment one of them took a step in that direction, the Relics clambered out of their trench and rushed over. They all inhaled deeply, savoring the smell. One of them raised the cup to her lips, and was about to take a sip. Xard grinned, they’d taken the bait. The next moment, hot liquid flew over at the young man, one of the women having splashed their drink at him. He got covered, and thankfully he was a Fiend, or that could have been a nasty burn.
The culprit acted frantic and gestured toward Xard. “Sisters, this man... No, he is not a man at all! Clearly he must be a minion from Hell here to tempt us! He called himself a Fiend, yes?! He admitted it! Only someone so fiendish would try and make us defile our purity. Quickly, we must report this to Dette!” The Relics quickly scampered off. However, Xard noticed that the others had taken their cups with them.
“We’re sorry about the Relics,” One of the Spoiled women apologized. “They’ve never known anywhere but this place their whole lives. I’m afraid that they don’t understand how the world really works.”
“Pay it no mind,” The Artillery smiled at them. “Now then, ladies, would it be alright if I asked you a favor?” Xard pulled a box out of his duffle bag: a megapack of hot chocolate, labeled that it contained 196 individual packets. Around 50 or so were missing, having been chipped away at over the trip. “I’m afraid I simply have too much. It would go to waste if left with me. Would you be so kind as to take it with you and share it with the others?” All of their eyes widened as they gratefully accepted the gift. The intruder on the battlefield watched them skip away as he plotted his next move.
About an hour and a half later, after the sun had fully set, Dette found her way over to Xard. “I’ve heard reports from my girls that they’ve heard a cat in the area. Does this have something to do with you?” the Relic leader asked as she approached. She had been carrying a candle lantern, so her view had been limited, likely only able to see the man’s face properly, lit up by his phone’s screen. Dette nearly dropped her lantern, though, when she saw what was happening.
Xard was surrounded by a full gaggle of women from the Spoiled side. They were scrunched up as close to him as possible, practically hanging off of him. “I demand to know what is going on!” Dette yelled at the woman… “And you… Suskie! You’re the leader of the Spoiled, but you’re consorting with this man! Have you no pride?!”
“Ahh… uhh…” one of the women behind the Fiend, presumably Suskie, began to stammer. “You see, I came over with a few of the girls to thank him properly for the gift he gave us… but then… we just couldn’t look away…” On cue, a soft cry came from Xard’s phone, and all the women resumed staring at it, completely enthralled.
Dette stamped over, and spun the phone around to see what the cause of the commotion was. Displayed on his screen was a kitten happily playing with a chip bag. The next step in Xard’s dastardly scheme had been to captivate the women by watching cat videos on his phone when they came over, and it worked magically. Dette’s expression grew furious. She turned around, about to storm off, when one of the women uttered, “Oh no, the bag’s stuck on his head! Will he be okay?!”
For a moment, the prideful woman stopped in her tracks, her body obviously shaking. After a deep breath, she resumed her march out of sight. It was faint, but Xard could have sworn he heard something along the lines of, “We must get rid of that man, no matter the cost!”
When it started to get late, the war-ruiner insisted that they stop, and ushered the women to return to their camp. Given their interest, he easily could have kept them captivated throughout the night, but he needed them well rested for what he had planned for tomorrow.
It didn’t take him long to set up the tent, only a few seconds since it was a pop-up. The refuge actually hadn’t been used for their trip so far, even though it could sleep four comfortably. The Fiends mostly stayed in hotels, but even when there wasn’t suitable lodging, they’d normally stay in The Tourist. It was equipped with a feature that changed the car into a shape similar to that of a pod-hotel. Each of the four got their own private space where their seat would fold down flat into a bed.
Even though he’d gone through the ‘trouble’ of setting the tent up, he didn’t plan on really using it. He was only going to sit inside to give off the impression he had gone to sleep. No, he was going to stay up all night. The boy had to prepare for tomorrow and find a time when he could slip away. Plus, he wouldn’t be surprised if a nighttime visitor came calling.
Just as predicted, when everyone should be sound asleep, the lone heard rumbling outside his tent. The zipper slowly came undone, and there were surprised eyes when they saw he was still awake. Xard acted coy, laying leisurely with a book in hand that he hadn’t been reading. He had switched out of his combat outfit, and was wearing loose leisurewear. “I was wondering when you’d come to visit.” He did his best to sound like a philanderer, but wasn’t sure if he captured the role just right.
The flap of the tent came fully undone, unveiling Dette and two Relic companions. Without saying anything, they climbed inside the tent and zipped it closed behind them. All three girls snuggled up close to Xard, and then Dette began to speak, in as seductive of a voice as she could muster. “We’re sorry about earlier. We’ve come to realize just how special of a man you really are. We just couldn’t keep our eyes off of you. No matter how hard we tried, we just can’t fight it anymore.”
The other two women pressed close on either side of Xard’s arms, Dette draped herself over his front, and started rubbing his chest. She stared deeply into his eyes, trying to draw him into his instincts, to manipulate him towards an act of passion. Then, like many times that day, her eyes went wide in surprise when the man she was attempting to seduce showed absolutely no reaction to her advances whatsoever. But then the Fiends bored face did show some expression, stretching into the biggest, smuggest grin of his life.
“So, that’s the best you could come up with, huh?” Xard looked down on her. “But I’m afraid that won’t work on me. I applaud your ambition and dedication to your beliefs that you’d go this far. However, I can not approve of this reprehensible tactic. I understand that you’re all adults and can make your own choices, and hopefully single as well. That said, please respect yourselves more than this. Now then, if you don’t mind, I’d ask you all to leave before any of us are embarrassed further.” With their pride shattered, the women left the tent.
◆◆◆
The next morning another lustrous smell filled the air, and it wasn’t long before prying eyes were swarming the Fiend who was once more standing alone in the middle of the battlefield. It was still very early—the sun was just beginning to rise. Most likely, this smell had woken most of them, since he had fans blowing it in their direction. He hadn’t wanted to take a chance, not knowing how early these women would wake to start breakfast.
“It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it ladies?!” Xard proclaimed boisterously as he stood with tongs and a spatula in hand. Before him was an electric griddle, powered by a small, portable solar power bank Nathym had made which was also powering the fans. Now that he had their attention, the more-proper chef shut off the fans and stowed them away. The griddle was quite large, and could support a fair amount of food. Currently cooking on it were two large pancakes and several strips of bacon.
It didn’t take long until he was surrounded by women on all sides. They were keeping their distance, but if he walked in any direction, he’d run into one. Once the food was ready, Xard plated it and sat down. Just like with the noodles, he embellished a bit when he ate. The eyes watching him were like sad puppies, and he almost felt like he was torturing the poor girls.
The Artillery made sure to clean his plate, making sure not to leave so much as a smidgen. This left the women looking depressed, and appeared like they were going to leave since the food was gone. But then Xard announced, “Welp, time to cook the rest of it!” and once again eyes were all back on him. He went into his tent and rummaged around, all while speaking aloud. “You see, I may have snuck off to a grocery store last night. Forgive me for leaving my post, but something I can’t explain came over me. I bought way too much food.”
Xard emerged with a large cooler and set it down with a thud next to the griddle. He took off the lid, and it was filled to the brim with packs of bacon and liquid pancake mix. “Yup, that’s definitely too much. I reckon I could overfeed everyone here. Too bad you all aren’t interested. Well it would be a waste if I let it spoil, so I’ll just have to cook all of it. Whatever happens to it after it’s served on a plate is none of my business.”
Within minutes, the intruder had a stacked plate of food ready and set it on the ground a few feet away from him. By the time he had another plate ready to go, the first had vanished. He hadn’t even seen who took it, but it was lost in the trenches now. After a couple more plates met the same mysterious fate, Xard snapped his fingers due to a not-so-sudden realization.
“Ah, I forgot something,” he went back to the tent. “No wonder I was so tired. Can’t start a morning this early without a bit of caffeine.” The Fiend returned to his cooking station with a coffee pot and several bags of beans. He hooked the machine up to the power bank and started brewing a pot. One girl from the Spoiled side almost fainted at the mere sight of it. The griddle had already been part of their camping supplies, but Xard had purchased the cooler, coffee pot, and food with his own money. Assuming Fiends For Hire’s bank-robbing plan worked out, savings soon wouldn’t be an issue.
After a good chunk of the food was prepared, The Artillery asked, “Do you all mind if I turn on the news?” not expecting an answer. It was getting close to the first broadcasts of the morning, so Xard set his phone to pick up the news station of the nearest town that had one. Once the broadcast started, every woman seemed to pay attention with genuine intrigue. They likely hadn’t heard about what was going on in the world around them for quite some time.
The news was pretty standard, talking about global politics, what was going on in the community, and a few crimes that had happened. Then a ‘breaking report’ came in that made Xard want to laugh.
“Just a few minutes ago, the car belonging to the Fiends For Hire was seen entering the city limits,” the newsman reported. “We don’t know their intentions, but there have been numerous reports of them in the immediate vicinity of financial institutions. Over the past week, they have visited such places and moved on shortly afterwards. We can only hope the same will befall us. The Fiend, Xard Randex, was not seen among them. We are unsure at the time what this means, or if they are plotting in two different locations. We will keep you updated with any new information.”
With a satisfied grin on his face, Xard pointed the spatula at his face and announced, “That’s me!” This happy feeling didn’t last, however. A few hours later, the young man was groaning nonstop in his head, bored out of his mind as he sat in the middle of the Disputing Grounds.
About halfway through cooking the food, when the news started to wind down, the two groups of women called a temporary truce. They all decided to sit around and enjoy the nice meal together. When the news ended, it rolled into a talk show hosted by a few women gossiping and discussing seemingly random topics. A whole group of gals from both sides had swarmed around his phone, trying to watch the program. This led Xard to try out the projection feature on his phone, which worked surprisingly well, even though it was outside in the light of day. He used the side of his tent as a backdrop.
When the talk show ended, one of the Spoiled women would not stop raving about a movie she had watched back when they were deployed by the Drazahs. Xard took advantage of this, looked it up, and played it through his phone. This had opened the floodgates, however, and the women were currently on their fourth movie, all of which had been chick-flicks.
The first two movies weren’t so bad. They were decently funny and entertaining. Xard had left halfway during the second one to pick up a microwave and popcorn for the girls to enjoy. The latter two, however, were excruciating to him. They were a nonstop ride of emotions and romance. The boy did enjoy these things, but not to this degree, and he wanted to knock himself out by the end of the fourth one. He gritted his teeth and bared it, not wanting to lose his persona as the grandiose host.
When nightfall came, that truce had become permanent. Even after only two days, the many extravagances of modern life had converted every Relic into a Spoiled. Dette had been the last hold out, but by the end of it, her and Suskie were holding each other, crying together at the end of one of the movies. Xard announced that he would be departing, but was then met with many angry eyes. The Spoiled women wanted to stay spoiled, and leaving with their new addiction would make him their enemy for life. This led to the Fiend panickedly calling Nathym, asking how fast he could send out a shipment of phones and power sources.
After that issue was resolved, Xard gave them a brief lecture on moderation, hoping they’d abide by it. After final goodbyes, and a lot of tears and thanks, The Artillery returned back to the town, bursting with pride from having quickly ended the years-long civil war in no time at all. On his way over, he received a text from the other Fiends that they were waiting for him, having finished their heists earlier than expected. When he joined up with them, Phon was holding a strange orb in her hand, and they were all staring fervently at their phones.
Then, the redhead realized what that orb was based on stories from the Drazahs. It was the same camera they had used to broadcast their heist at the Cotagerie museum. He then understood what they were watching. They were scrubbing through the many embarrassing hours he had just spent at the Disputing Grounds. The orb had been set to specifically track him. In their defense, all The Vixen said was, “You shouldn’t have told us it would be embarrassing.”
Discord, , and Amazon Release (Pending), can be found on the Fiends For Hire .
Honor tradition or embrace progression?
