I awoke the next morning, feeling what I can only describe as alive and just breathing. My brain was being pressed and flattened by something other than schmavity and, if I had a wife, I’d tell her “Look after the kids and don’t think about finding anyone else, it’s til death do we part… and the rest, welcome to 2024 dear. #progressivism #live love laugh.

  I can only imagine what our new blue haired companion is feeling being 4/10th my size...ish. Gathering my things and trying not to keel over, a fourth wind helped me stumble through the room and to the door. Horace was waiting outside for me smiling, away and giving me a thumbs up, of course I returned the gesture, it is rude not to. We join up and he tells me that everyone else has gathered for elevenses since it is midday now.

  Well, that’s just FANTASTIC I thought in my head. The group sat at a table in the corner, eating and chatting away. Our new companion was doing exceptionally well diving into the schmuu cream and gurdb?r jam. And that is when I remembered… and a side of me that was long gone resurfaced.

  “Lucyyyyyy” I said dusting the floor with my foot. She looked up surprised, nobody had noticed that me and Horace had entered the eating hall of the inn until now.

  “How are you today young sir, are you feeling better after last night?" she said. “Yes, deary thank you deary, but Lucy~” I repeated. “Can I have my Cranky Jay flapper please~.”

  She laughed and asked “Why I am speaking like a kid?” and then threw the grain bar at me.

  “Because you’re the best in the whole wide world Lucy~” Wardi put his head in his hands and Rhua just shook her head to say “idiot.” Jokes on them, these things are unbelievably good, and the effects are top tier:

  Doubles the rate of all learning, physical training, and rate of recovery for 24 hours. Immunity to status ailments for 12 hours.

  But I'm just eating it because it’s DELICIOUS.

  I took a bite, and I could hear the smooth jazz music erupt in the back of my mind, velvety vinella goodness begins melting on my tongue. Dancing and swaying, beckoning me further.

  That brown body and blonde locks, they could haunt my dreams forever, nothing compares to you, my love-that-shall-not-be-named. A crumb tumbles down from my mouth and rolls down crashing into my armour, fragmenting, little bits hit my boot’s, others fall to the floor, the rest cling to my attire. The rush is intense as it activates, surging quickly, it is euphoric. This moment, this collision… I shudder from the excitement.

  A romance that never was, ended by a swift and brutal punch to the gut. “Sorry about that” I said “Every damn time he gets one of those, he starts being the world’s biggest creep” says Rhua angrily. “They just taste so damn good though, Wardi gets it, he loves them too” of course Wardi denies it in the moment but whilst the rest of the group focuses on me, he leans back, looks at my direction and nods in a way only a connoisseur would give.

  I had noticed a little too late that I was no longer holding the snack, and it was casually halfway across the room being carried by …what appeared to be a part lek part…dafdil…thing? Perhaps the comedown is still affecting me or Rhua’s punch travelled much further than it should have and maybe I’m dying. I thought to myself.

  “We should go find the Von’s after eating, I want to know how they are doing after such a traumatic series of events” said Lucy, troubled by thinking of the victims and the fighting. Rhua nodded and spoke “Certainly won’t forget that in a hurry, but it will be alright, we can back up Broekslang if necessary, but I don’t think it will come to that.”

  "Let’s hope so… he does not deserve any punishment; it is not his fault that he was manipulated” Said Wardi.

  “What happened? You hide a thing from me while I sleep?” said Silana

  “Don’t worry kid” I patted her on the shoulder, “Bad …stuff happened unexpectedly, man was tricked by evil things there, evil things gone now, we beat them up” I said, feeling more prehistoric Terrahuum by the second. Silana seemed to believe my words, well I assume so because she almost immediately resumed eating like a feral animal.

  Food was finished as quickly as it appeared, and we set off towards the town guard’s quarters. Larry informed Lucy that Broekslang had been held there for-safety purposes on the off chance he went another round of mayhem. Surprisingly Emcee had taken it upon herself to speak to him personally, judging by the huge aura emanating around the area, she was going to get answers whether he suffered or not. Frank spotted us heading over.

  “Iawn conts” he said joyfully we all looked at each other confused and he had a disappointed look on his face “expand your minds, learn a new language occasionally” he grunted. The boss is already in there talking with your mate Broeksod, judging by what I heard he’s probably still alive he said laughing. “Right…good” said Wardi on behalf of everyone.

  Pushing past Frank, Curly was sat in the corner chatting amongst the guards and carried at this point it was better to just continue towards the cells than to get terrible comments thrown at us again. The aura seen from outside, was much stronger as we got closer to it, well at least for me it was, likely a side effect of not joining the system.

  “Took you lot long enough, get in here” boomed the voice of Emcee. Broekslang appeared to have had a few accidents during his ‘talks’ with Emcee. He cried out with Oh and Ah’s, sitting with his back against the wall. Blood came from his face down to the floor, the bruising was dazzling purple along his left arm and the aroma in the air hummed of the TPS’s that’s Tears, pee, and shiitake oh my days that smells bad! Trying to hold my breath whilst the thought popped into my head and my eyes twitching at the fumes.

  Lucy was the most shaken and unfortunately for her nervously cracked speaking first. “H-hey” she stumbled out with. “Everything ooo-ok in hhh-here?” she followed up.

  “Of course, just making sure, he ain’t able to hulk out again, if there is one thing I love, it’s an excuse to bury something” said Emcee

  “HA” Curly laughed heartedly in the background after hearing that. “So…you just wailed on him over and over? No questions about what happened?” Said Rhua. Uncomfortable, overwhelming, the silence in the air was crushing yet curly was still grunting away in the background.

  “He knows me well enough so why the fook would I ask, if he were gonna say something important, he would have cracked before I started. Did you listen to me before!?” Emcee was furious and had a whiff of unhinged about her, a boot was being taking off rapidly and it then headed straight at Rhua, THUD.

  The boot would have hit her shield had it not been intercepted and caught by the shortest and most rotund member of the Koanit tribe I’ve ever laid eyes on. “Should use spear Emcee hwahwa, much stronger than boot” it said. The chances of being in the same room as a tenny are low, but two of them… is there some unofficial reunion going on here in Et Navn” Wardi said with a smile on his face.

  “Oh Stonker! Sapnin with you bud?" Emceee said with a personality shift that would alarm any doctor. Stonker let out a piercing honk, noticing Broekslang casually slipping away mentally, and threw what looked like red sludge slapping him in the face and he almost immediately began recovering from emcee’s play time. Cuts were sealed, bruises were fading, the smell still lingered so you can’t have it all I thought to myself.

  “Slimy stuff same as good-good potion hwahwa said Stonker”

  *Translation – “The red sludge has the same healing and recovery potential as a potion for those in the high rankings.*

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  “Emcee, you hear? BIG sounds in Nitan state, huge battle happen, many rankers!” he followed up with. Curious to his words she replied with a raised brow and spoke back. “Battle? Rankers? Tell me everything” not before she conjured a huge wind ability blowing the roof off and us with it then the roof slamming back upside down.

  We landed back at Von manor, dust scattering from the ruins when the wind passed through from our impact, which was certainly was not something I needed whilst still on this comedown.

  “Gee, what a kind and gentle character she is!” Rhua shouted aloud “Good thing we are too far for her to hear that” Said Wardi. Broekslang recovered fastest due to still being under the effects of the sludge.

  “Gosh, bless that small little Koanit, it felt like I would meet my maker even quicker than that thing that was in my home” Broekslang said getting himself up off his feet with a little effort.

  “These bones are too old for a fall like that” he followed up with. Brushing the dust off himself he explained to the party that the guards were under orders take his wife and daughter to stay with Larry whilst he was to be interrogated by Emcee regarding the incident. And being under the influence he has no recollection of anything from when the drug was secretly given to him; it’s all a blur, and that’s when Emcee really started blasting him hard.

  Larry along with the ladies of the house make an appearance as Broekslang finished speaking. Skankerella ran to try and find him some fresh clothing to replace the blood and dirt riddled outfit he had on, whilst the lady darted at her husband and held him tightly. It was hard not to crack a smile at a sweet little segment in life, it’s been a while since a moment like this happened for us.

  “It’s not over dear, life will go on for us we can rebuild it all, come on, let us dry those tears; the garden is still in good shape, let’s enjoy the greenery as a family” Said Broekslang passionately. “Thank you for everything friends, I will give each of you coin and supplies and replace all your equipment’s it is the least I can do for all that you did for us this family” he said.

  Noticing Hans walking alongside Larry, he instructed him to gather the rewards for us and he began conducting his lord’s instructions immediately and with a grin on his face.

  “Be a while before things go back to normal, I doubt anyone that saw the light and noises going off in Et-Navn will be reluctant to want visit anytime soon.” said Larry.

  “By the way, before I forget, got a request for you lot from Barry” Larry pulled a parchment out of his bag and handed it to me.

  “I Dr A.I, humbly requests adventurers to…” Oh no not one of these” I said. Having already experienced one too many of these in this new life already Wardi, Horace and Rhua already knew what was coming. “Not a MONSTER SLAYIN MATERIAL GATHERING FETCH QUEST WITH DELIVERY” boomed Horace with belligerent moaning.

  “What bad with that request?” said Silana with a curious tone.

  As if I didn't feel rough as sandpaper as it is, this just further my suffering:

  Monster slaying, material gathering, fetch quest, with delivery *sigh*

  They're monotonous! Repetitive! Sending you to deal with

  The stuff

  which is rather

  quite often

  more than not

  On their bloody-DOOR-STEPS!

  It's only a job, just one wee little job,

  that’s easy for you to say,

  we've done this since the early days!

  But these take it,

  one step further, that place It's scumville,

  the monsters trash holes!

  We'll be there Til we feel old,

  give us anything but, a, monster slaying, fetch with delivery QUEST~.

  "I don't get but ok" a confused and bewildered Silana says to Lucy.

  "Me too, this is a new experience, I'm wondering when exactly they had the time to practice a singing a song together..." Lucy says with a more a impressed look on her face, but with a hint of curiosity about it.

  "Bravo friends! But now that's over, this is an important request for you. Dr A is a bit of chasm fanatic, but she's alienated herself from the scene, usually the case when you come across deranged in front of others.” Said Larry.

  “Hmm, Dr A huh, can't say her name is familiar, what's special about her for Barry wanting us on the job?" Rhua asked Larry.

  Grinning mischievously, he replied "Perhaps you will be curious to meet a refresher" everyone's curiosity peaked hearing this. Various responses perked up among us: “No WAY!” piped Horace,

  I won't throw a long-winded explanation at you all this time because nobody got time for that again. I’m lying, of course im going to do exactly that, you know me by now!

  Some sentients can evolve their class to something better than what they had if they fulfil hidden conditions. Rhua used to be an esquire, but her class evolved into a Chevalier for bravely defending her companions 3000 times.

  Wardi also began as esquire, but he refused to use any weapons other than rapiers which lead to him unlocking the hidden class Pranser.

  A new thing was discovered two years ago: classes tied to gods could lose their linkage and earn favour with other gods. This happened to a Dornam called Vendun, who refused to follow his Sharker class of providing un-manageable money lending and was offered to refresh his class to a Philanthrer providing permanent buffs each time he donates money instead. Verdun had all his growth reset including losing all his previous abilities. That’s a dangerous thing when there's an eight-year advantage for everyone else around you. There could be more, but for now there's only Verdun and now this Dr A apparently.

  I couldn't help but say “This has got my attention for sure.”

  “You and the rest of bud, Wardi added.

  "What does the rest of the request say, you didn't finish saying." said Lucy.

  “Oh yeah… sorry about that” I replied.

  I Dr A.I, humbly requests adventurers to acquire:

  Ironceros horn x2.

  Slanger venom x6.

  Dank Marsh puffs x10.

  TWO XL barrels of Tainted Kaydar sap.

  "Jeez, is it even worth taking this on, that's nearly ten days-worth of work with how many of us there are! AND we would be working at a non-stop pace” said Wardi.

  “The puffs are simple to get, but the Ironceros horns will take a day or two recover even with buffs, particularly when it’s only the alphas that have even have the horns in the first place, I added to Wardi’s statement.

  “Could probably save time buying the sap but I doubt we'll be able to fill a single barrel, so we will still need to harvest the rest.” Rhua said. “If Barry's asked for us specifically, there's probably a reason for it, did you mention to Barry about what happened?” Said Wardi.

  “I did , he's headed to the Koan lands with the tenner’s currently but will call for all the top rankers to meet to discuss your encounter. He said it sounds like some serious and worrying things are going on behind the scenes and if so that needs to.be dealt with, things are for the most part stable and we should only be doing better not taking steps back” replied Larry.

  Matter of perspective I thought, Maybe some merit to it, but we can’t be jumping to conclusions things are that extreme I additionally though about. “I’m curious, what’s happened over there, for the tenner’s to be linking up for it? Said Wardi. “He isn’t sure, it doesn’t seem like anybody really does, but don’t worry about it, with them heading there it’s going be resolved quick for sure” says Larry smiling.

  He’s right about that at least feeling a little relieved when I think about that fact. Hans headed towards us with a cart full of gear and coins

  “For you good friends, the lord of the house insists you take it all, and for you milady Rhua, Lord Broekslang says you should look in the armoury, there are some very suitable replacements for the full plate armour you had, and perhaps a shield or two worth taking” he politely informed her.

  “Is he sure about giving away so much?” Said Lucy, Hans nodded then beckoned for Rhua to follow him, she looked at us flustered; with a face that said: “I guess I should follow him?”

  Scanning through the cart the assorted items dazzled under the calming blue sky. Broekslang’s collection of weapons and armour from the old Terra were impressive, more so when the merger happened things like these became something of a highly prized commodity, the effects were often as good the items found in Chasm. Horace came across a mortar called the Stokeys, it was an antique from Terra used in a war a long time ago, portable, lightweight but it gained entirely new functions when the merger happened.

  Automatically adjusts size to the owner’s needs, auto maintenance so need for any repairs. It’s a weapon for life, it’s rare to come across something with that kind of utility.

  I’m sure you have been wondering… exactly how I lasted as long as I have without the sentient system… Serilia did allow me a caveat, I can get the effects from any gear and items I wear or use, I just can’t read what the effects are myself. But, since I have these cool people in my life, I’ve always got a way to find out.

  And! I came across these bad boys. Holding the gloves up in the light of the Manor. The Shao sap gloves. I won these in a game of Ele-manna-go not long after the merger. The gloves are so unassuming and boring to look at which makes them appealing to thieves. The wearer automatically gains knowledge to wield and fight with high proficiency any weapon they can physically hold. And the gloves have a secret feature once equipped.

  *The glove effect cannot be scanned to see this effect until removed*

  Pretty neat don’t you think?

  I can feel the comedown has only gotten worse since you had to read this little ZING-ZING-ZINGERONI! It’s sure been a while since one of those ey

  …will this comedown ever end I thought.